My life is not the same, I am worthless now.

I can't even begin to believe the whole completely upside down situation. Michael Jackson, gone from us, stolen like a theif in the night, taken like a whispered voice. I feel so alone, this big emty inside me is vast, I can't even imagine an ocean so big, I can't picture water so deep as this hurt, this whole, a void in my soul that is now open, bleeding, my every emotion is twirling, swirling, tumbling, crumbling, disconecting and dissolving, I feel lost in a sea w/ no rock, no lifeguard to reel me in.

I feel like I've lost my happy thoughts now, my only consolation is that Michael is made of a different kind of Zanny now, he can walk thru walls so I know he can come and see me, I know he knows I still need him, but not to ever touch him physically breaks my heart in a million pieces. He was the only man I wanted to marry, the only man I would give my heart, soul, body and mind to, now I have no one to love, no one to have me, save Josh Groban and Frodo, if they will have me, but I have become cursed, jinxed, worthless, swirling and lost in a big, vast void that no one will ever fill up again.

I want all my favorite guys made outta Zanny so they won't go anywhere, so they can't be deflated. I need Captain Eo to come and get me to take me to his planet, named for Michael, the planet MichaelJackson, where all the Zanny creatures and ppl come from, he makes all the Zanny ppl/creatures, when someone turns Zanny, a new mold appears. But new ppl have to work up to being Zanny bc it's the best substance in the world and if u do someting bad, u lose ur Zanny talent and go back to being normal. I don't know ppl got to be Zanny, but Michael was the first one to ever do it. He is still my heart and soul and I will be forever true to him.

My Heart Cries Blood

I have this poem dying, pun meant, to come out.

My Heart Cries Blood

It is a dark and dreary place
tears stream like rivers down my face
I am in an empty lonely state
and I know nobody can relate.

My heart cries blood from deep within
to put to words I can't begin.
I feel like something good is gone
and I don't know how I'll go on.
No man will love me no one could
for now I have no more to give
I have no real reason to live
and I know I can do nothing good.

Michael Jackson inspired me
I write from the heart so openly
because he gave me a reason to be.
He gave me the strength to go on
now that strength is dead and gone.

No one will ever understand
I only wanted to take his hand
and he could fly us to Nevrland.
I had plenty of pixiedust
I'd bring enough for both of us.
But I've lost all my happy thoughts
I feel like all the good is lost.

Why Does God only take the best
and leave us with the rotten rest?
Why are there only murderers, robbers and fiends?
Why do the wicked rule the world it seems?
Michael was an angel among us here
and I know in my heart he is still near
but I can't help but cry devastated tears
for I loved him so much as never before
and I wanted to be with him forever more.

My heart cries blood today
for my happiness has gone away
the goodness has leaked out like a sieve
and I don't know why I bother to live.
I hope that the good Lord can forgive
the dark thoughts I have today
for right now my skies are dark and gray.
I don't know how I'll continue to get by
for like rain falling from the sky
my world continues to wither and die.
It's lonely, dark and dreary today
My Heart Cries Blood Today.

Siena Iman Vaisa Jackson* (c) 6-25-2009
*Screen name

Auracolors with Pamala Oslie ~ The Aura Test

I did this, kindof fun really, but I don't understand too much.

Auracolors with Pamala Oslie ~ The Aura Test

If you could not find the meaning of the aura colors here they are:

http://www.auracolo rs.com/auracolor s-colors. html

Please Come Back To Neverland

Please Come Back To Neverland
My love for Michael Jackson brightly burns
till the day when my special love returns.
It seems so unfair sometimes the way this messed up world turns.

Michael Jackson is a light that shines in my world so bright.
I have nightmares in the dead of night
and I need Michael to hold me tight
and make everything turn out alright.

But I need to show him how I feel that my love for him is very real.
His heart and soul need time to heal
cause this world gave him a bad deal.
But as the love for him I now hold
takes a chance to grow more bold
I want to reach out to his very soul
and tell him I love him and he keeps me whole.

I know it sounds dumb to some,
they think I'm being silly
for loving someone they think is Nilly Willy,
but I will shout it across the land...REALLY!

My love for Michael Jackson brightly burns
till the day when my special love returns
and I can hold onto his Zanny hand
and walk in the Moonlight at Neverland.

I can be his faithful Tinker Bell, I
'll keep his secrets hidden well
He can be my Peter Pan
so Please come back to Neverland!

Tami L. Cook (c) 3-17-2006

One Whole Year~Michael's Vindication
Michael Jackson has been vindicated for ONE WHOLE YEAR.
THe love we felt for this magical person is still here.
We went thru years of stress and fear,
as the media tried to wreck his brilliant career.

Every day I cried terrified tears
as I feared I would lose Michael for many years.
But some people who knew Michael the best
came thru and put that fear to rest.
He has passed his horrible and trying test.

What would I do withought the friends I have made?
I would have walked alone and afraid
feeling Michael's terror and frustrated feelings
steadily growing weaker, dizzy and reeling.

But then some people reached for my hand
and along with Michael I found I could stand.
They welcomed me in just like Neverland
and from that time became a part
of the special bond that's in my heart.

Michael lead me to this positive place
and put a smile back on my face.
He brought us together to see this thru
and for that I thank all of you...
as this anniversary draws so near,
I give out a heartfelt cheer...
for Michael's Vindication has been ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!

Tami L. Cook (c) 3-08-2006

What Would I do?

What would I do?

If I could have one day with you Michael,
do you know what I would do?
I would take a quiet walk with you
I would sit beside the seashore and listen to you
I would let you tell me all the secrets you felt needed telling
I would let you just be yourself without the public pressure
I would listen to your voice, for it is a hidden treasure.

I would tell you how I feel about you if you didn't know,
how my love for you is forever and each day I feel it grow.
I am not afraid to let it out or put it on for show.
Becaus the world is so hard and mean at times it seems,
so if I could have one day with you Michael,
I'd hold it as dear as any of my heart's greatest dreams.

If I could have one day with you Michael Jackson,
I would just simply be with you for the person that you are,
I would walk beside you whether it be near or far
and when evening came we could wish upon a star
for fairy wings and pixie dust
and maybe even that someday I could be someone you trust
and maybe even love
because to me you are a gift from God above.

Tami L. Cook (c) 1-26-2006