I can't even begin to believe the whole completely upside down situation. Michael Jackson, gone from us, stolen like a theif in the night, taken like a whispered voice. I feel so alone, this big emty inside me is vast, I can't even imagine an ocean so big, I can't picture water so deep as this hurt, this whole, a void in my soul that is now open, bleeding, my every emotion is twirling, swirling, tumbling, crumbling, disconecting and dissolving, I feel lost in a sea w/ no rock, no lifeguard to reel me in.
I feel like I've lost my happy thoughts now, my only consolation is that Michael is made of a different kind of Zanny now, he can walk thru walls so I know he can come and see me, I know he knows I still need him, but not to ever touch him physically breaks my heart in a million pieces. He was the only man I wanted to marry, the only man I would give my heart, soul, body and mind to, now I have no one to love, no one to have me, save Josh Groban and Frodo, if they will have me, but I have become cursed, jinxed, worthless, swirling and lost in a big, vast void that no one will ever fill up again.
I want all my favorite guys made outta Zanny so they won't go anywhere, so they can't be deflated. I need Captain Eo to come and get me to take me to his planet, named for Michael, the planet MichaelJackson, where all the Zanny creatures and ppl come from, he makes all the Zanny ppl/creatures, when someone turns Zanny, a new mold appears. But new ppl have to work up to being Zanny bc it's the best substance in the world and if u do someting bad, u lose ur Zanny talent and go back to being normal. I don't know ppl got to be Zanny, but Michael was the first one to ever do it. He is still my heart and soul and I will be forever true to him.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
My Heart Cries Blood
I have this poem dying, pun meant, to come out.
My Heart Cries Blood
It is a dark and dreary place
tears stream like rivers down my face
I am in an empty lonely state
and I know nobody can relate.
My heart cries blood from deep within
to put to words I can't begin.
I feel like something good is gone
and I don't know how I'll go on.
No man will love me no one could
for now I have no more to give
I have no real reason to live
and I know I can do nothing good.
Michael Jackson inspired me
I write from the heart so openly
because he gave me a reason to be.
He gave me the strength to go on
now that strength is dead and gone.
No one will ever understand
I only wanted to take his hand
and he could fly us to Nevrland.
I had plenty of pixiedust
I'd bring enough for both of us.
But I've lost all my happy thoughts
I feel like all the good is lost.
Why Does God only take the best
and leave us with the rotten rest?
Why are there only murderers, robbers and fiends?
Why do the wicked rule the world it seems?
Michael was an angel among us here
and I know in my heart he is still near
but I can't help but cry devastated tears
for I loved him so much as never before
and I wanted to be with him forever more.
My heart cries blood today
for my happiness has gone away
the goodness has leaked out like a sieve
and I don't know why I bother to live.
I hope that the good Lord can forgive
the dark thoughts I have today
for right now my skies are dark and gray.
I don't know how I'll continue to get by
for like rain falling from the sky
my world continues to wither and die.
It's lonely, dark and dreary today
My Heart Cries Blood Today.
Siena Iman Vaisa Jackson* (c) 6-25-2009
*Screen name
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